Headless Frank...

advisor to the lovelorn, weary, confused, and the overly self-involved

headless frank

Dear Headless Frank:

I've always wondered why God made mosquitos. I thought that, being a lover of all creatures, you might have an answer that would diminish my annoyance with these little buzzers.
—Nature Lover, Texas

Dear Nature Lover—
You Texans, of all people, should know that in the food chain, the mosquito is a main food source for bats. Okay then, you say, what is the purpose of bats?

Really?? If it weren’t for bats, we’d have never had the Batmobile!

Every civilization needs such a system of lights, fins and noise to careen wildly across its landscape. For those of us who wear robes, it is the stuff of dreams with its slight suggestion that we might someday emerge in tights and a muscle shirt.

More importantly, there’s the need for speed. When I feel that the story of my head being knocked off by a lawnmower has become hackneyed and boring, I change it to my head being knocked off by the Batmobile!

Blam! I'm a rock star.

So, please don’t be annoyed. I’m pretty sure God knew exactly what he was doing. Thanks be, for mosquitos.

Signing off: Medulla oblongata.