Jane Ann's Astrological Forecast

Jane Ann

October 2012

I am so happy to finally be back to advise you on what the stars have in store for the coming month. Time away from this blog allowed me to rejuvenate.

(I was briefly concerned that I was going to grow another tail or something until I checked the dictionary and realized that I was confusing rejuvenation with regeneration. Which you should never do—nor should you attempt to grow a second tail without genetic counseling.)

So here is your October astrological forecast:

ARIES & TAURUS – The term "campaign" figures in your immediate future. Be prepared. If you are not a presidential candidate don’t expect Secret Service protection.

GEMINI through LEO (my sign) - Once again, everything looks awesome for you except for buying jewelry. Beware of rubies sold in convenience stores. I KNOW it’s convenient, but no. Your big successes this month likely will come by train. Let me know when you find out what that means.

BIG DIPPER - All things in moderation. If you are double dipping, stop. Save some for others.

VIRGO - Personal relationships blossom when you go offline. You’ll begin to understand what people are really like. Also, your fortunes will change when you start reading nutritional information labels.

LIBRA - Do whatever gives you joy. Let others worry about themselves—you aren’t responsible for their happiness. Share openly, but never give your real address unless ordering pizza. Don’t order pizza too often or people will think you need pizza to make you happy, which you don’t, or if you do, go to the last sentence of VIRGO.

SCORPIO through CAPRICORN - Concentrate the entire month on candy and Halloween, but don’t get overwhelmed by suggestions to buy five and get one free, particularly regarding costumes. Choose one and choose it carefully. Your whole future depends on this one decision. I’d suggest Werewolf, but also listen to trusted advisors.

AQUARIUS & PISCES - Keep your nose out of others’ business (especially their costume selections). This is a time to gaze at your navel and wait patiently for enlightenment. It will come surprisingly quickly if you recently swallowed an LCD device.