Jane Ann's Astrological Forecast

Jane Ann

September 2014

For some, September reminds us of Labor Day; for others, it’s about back to school. Either way, the stars also see this month as work, work, WORK. See how it fits into your forecast:

VIRGO — Make competition in the workplace your top priority. Winning is your goal. Don’t let anyone fool you with the ol’ team player thing. I mean what does that mean if you don’t win? It means being a LOSING team player. Wow, like reach for the "participation" medal. Oh, but note: This is not your month for lasting friendships.

LIBRA & SCORPIO — Pay special attention to your work environment. If you have a home office, don’t allow the pets on the furniture. Cats typing is only cute on You Tube. The stuff a feline may inadvertently send over the internet can be embarrassing, unless you aren’t embarrassed by "tunafish" and "hair extensions" in the same sentence.

SAGITTARIUS & CAPRICORN — It’s back to school for you—doesn’t matter if you have a PhD or if you haven’t been in a classroom in years, you can always learn something new and useful. For instance, very few people actually know how to remove tomato stains—do you? Please learn.

AQUARIUS — Oh, boy, your age really dawns on you when you look back over what you haven’t accomplished. But don’t get overwhelmed as you try to catch up. Just take small steps: Lose three pounds, meet your neighbors, dig a garden, travel to a foreign country, write a novel, lose 50 pounds, learn to scuba dive…oops, sorry, after meeting the neighbors the stars jumped suddenly from "catch up" (see Sagittarius & Capricorn removing stains above) to "accomplish." But no pressure.

PISCES — You are the fish sign and it’s time to take responsibility for it. Remember the old adage: If you give someone a fish, you feed him for a day; if you teach someone to fish he can feed you for a day!

THE BIG DIPPER — Speaking of fish, all you have to do is cast your net this month. For you, the major work will be hauling it in. Throw out what you don’t need, but be sure you dispose of batteries properly and whatever you do, DO NOT INGEST MERCURY.

ARIES, TAURUS & GEMINI — Improve your study habits. Like do you keep your study neat and clean? Do you invite other people to use your study? If you are a nun, does the habit you wear in your study need updating or a colorful scarf? (If you are a nun, what are you doing reading a horoscope?)

LEO (my sign) — Wow, look at this: All your work this month will be easy. Just push the buttons and let technology do all your jobs. No need to study as you can get by on your good looks. September will be totally awesome, only expect your brain to atrophy.